Bean Bribery

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Students have been offering teachers coffee ever since Starbucks opened. It has proved to be an effective strategy to keep on teacher’s “good” sides.

It happens to the best of us, running into fifth hour late, the teacher gives you that dreaded “tardy” look. All you did was get lunch, how were you supposed to know it wasn’t an advisory day?

There are many strategies to keep on your teachers’ good side, but the one that seems to work better than others is an offering from the local coffee shop.

There are two things that will ensure your offering’s quality: it must be appropriate and seasonal. Appropriate refers to the fact that teachers have different preferences regarding their coffee.

“It depends on the time of day. If it’s before noon it can have caffeine, if after noon, it cannot,” says Mrs. Katie Krumm.

Many teachers also have favorite selections. For example, Mrs. Krumm prefers a (decaf) iced vanilla latte, Mrs. Jane Diamond-Martin prefers a hazelnut macchiato and Mr. Jay Grenawalt prefers a Grande coffee with half-and-half.

The offering must also coincide well with the weather outside. Giving an iced drink on a cold day will probably not go over as well as a warmer selection.

“It helps because they don’t count me tardy… or at least they don’t yell at me,” states Khaki Fleck ’14.

Despite Fleck’s optimism, gifts from the local coffee shop will not erase the tardy mark next to your name. However, this tradition can give just as much to the classroom as it does teachers. These priceless “brownie” points can add up to good student/staff relations and better classroom morale.

While a popular practice, this offering does not always work. Some teachers condemn coffee amelioration as bribery, and giving coffee will only make things worse. In addition, it would be rather foolish to bring coffee offerings to PE classes.

Coffee offerings are not universally accepted, but they are a good practice to not only show respect for teachers’ time but are also a good start at removing the dreaded “tardy gaze” when walking in late.

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