High school–the place where people “find themselves.” Well, the only way that people are told that they can find and define themselves is through their relationships with others. Who they choose as friends can have a lasting impact. This whole notion has been pounded into our brains countless times over the years so now it’s all mush and a dead topic. What about the other side though? What about if a person stays away from a relationship? This has an equally powerful effect. Did you know that people can actually figure out a lot about themselves without getting caught up in the dramatic choices of others? Some can actually learn much more from being independent.
Sometimes all that is needed is to just sit back and view the world in a fishbowl kind of way and figure out what is actually important.
Dating–what does that do for us while in high school?
There’s no benefit, and to some it’s a massive strain that puts on unessential pressures. For some it’s comparable to throwing the scrawniest kid in the world into AP Weights and then telling him to bench two football players who are also benching at the same time. Too much to handle and too much to balance in the already crazy world. Dating adds unnecessary stress and takes up too much occupation in our minds than we realize. This is mainly because of the drama. If we don’t focus on what’s really important, we will get lost in ourselves.
More often than not there’s a girl crying in the bathroom over a guy who just dumped her or a friend that called her fat,or maybe even both. Word gets out about this and soon after multitudes of people are playing telephone with twisted information they don’t even know to be true. Sound familiar? It’s sad. There’s no other way to put it than just sad. Humans are capable of so much more, yet we limit ourselves to such a primitive pastime as gossip.
Point is, there are too many drama-mamas, and the only way to cut down on the ever-increasing number of cases is to choose which relationships are actually worth it, and which ones are not.
To help decide which relationships to really dive into, first consider this: What do you really want? If you answer “To be in this relationship,” rethink this. What does your future self want? Does your future self really want a distraction during some of the most critical years of your life? Think about college. Think about life after college. Weigh out the options: fun now? Or dream job later? There’s so much time for dating and having committed relationships after graduation.
So many kids think that this is the end-all, and if they don’t date that girl in their Physics class then life has lost meaning. Or the classic: “If you don’t go on that date with that guy from Chem now, then you’ll miss your chance.” You can study later, right? Wrong. Study now while he figures out if you’re worth it enough to reschedule. If he realizes you are, then maybe pay some attention, if not–well, it looks like you’ve just skipped a ridiculous three-week-long soap opera starring you.
Let me tell you now, this is not the end-all. The end-all will actually be the end of all, and somehow dating (or the absence of) doesn’t quite compare to that.
Plenty of adults look back and wish they spent less time in the drama department of life and a little more time in the academic department. It may be a hard concept to grasp, but they’ve been there and they have a finish-line perspective. They know exactly what they want, and often the only limitations to their dreams of success were rooted in distractions in school.
If the only reason to be in a relationship is “to live for the moment” or it’s “fun,” then that is not a withstanding argument. “Living for the moment” can have the aftermath of possibly wrecking your entire future. So again we arrive at this question: is it all worth it?
Sure, a little drama and dating adds more interest to life, but don’t make dating and drama the only reason your life is of any interest. You are so much smarter and complex than to just let these distractions get in your way. View the overall picture. Make the most of it. In the end you’ll thank yourself.
High school relationships have a horrible reputation of hurting people, and yet we fling ourselves towards them. The media glorifies it, our friends glorify it, but really, what is there to be glorified? Here’s what happens: boy meets girl, they go on a date, and kiss. Then they think it’ll last, so they build their hopes up. Soon after however, boy might meet another girl or vice versa, or boy and girl might lose interest in general. Then the whole thing goes up in smoke like a forest fire. A forest fire because the flames and the dramatic breakup are usually way bigger than the spark that actually started the whole relationship.
Cynical? Maybe. Realistic? Definitely.
The message was not encouraging people to end their relationships, rather it was to help emphasize the importance of spending time where it really matters. If you feel hopelessly caught up in all the drama, there’s a solution: put down the phone and pick up the textbook. Find something that triggers your interest and passion besides other people’s dating habits. Start making your life about you and your future, not the dramatic present that will die tomorrow with the next tidal wave of misery. Do not waste any more time, so break free of the typical heartbreaking cycle and do something incredible.
*Copyright 2014 Devan and Co.
*No animals were harmed during the production of “High Schoolers-you’re doing it wrong.”