Comic Sans: Our greatest fight

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They didn’t know what they had done. How could they have? Developing a simple, whimsical font for comic-book-style speech bubbles in 1994 must have seemed the most benign thing in the world to a few Microsoft employees. But unbeknownst to those tragic figures, their fateful actions would soon evolve into the most unspeakable mistake of our modern times.

Two words: Comic Sans.

Initially, Comic Sans was used for things like children’s literature, Beanie Babies, and childish video games. Harmless, yes: that’s what the world thought at first. Then the misuses started popping up. Somewhere along the line, everyday people acquired the notion that just because they had access to a variety of typography choices, somehow they were granted the God-given right to exercise individuality in modern communication. But every font contains a role and persona in and of itself.

Does Times New Roman invoke an attitude of lightheartedness? No, that’s absurd. Does Corsiva feel right printed on merchandise for the NRA? No, don’t be ridiculous. .

Notice the disrespect in using comic sans with the phrase “Rest in peace”.

Try not to cringe at the cruelty in putting comic sans with “This is an eviction notice”.

And must I even point out the inherently shocking nature of the words.

BEWARE LION in comic sans?

In 1999, when the movement “Ban Comic Sans” was founded by modern day heroes Dave and Holly Crumb, the world laughed. Dismissive hands waved away hard truths in place of preference for blissful indifference for the cultural atrocity that was taking hold. For many, regret seized hearts and it now seems too late to reverse our choices. But we mustn’t falter; there is hope.

The good news is that the collective sin of the world’s continual use this blasphemous typography doesn’t have to be the end for us. We have the power to inform the world (through messages typed in appropriately selected lettering). Day by day, citizen by citizen, we must push on without rest until a collective cultural awakening takes center on the world stage. No longer will we sit in silence as the people around us spit sentiments like “I’m font-blind, I see the words not the typography”. Ignorance, pure and simple.

Guidelines must be taught for when to use and when not to use certain fonts. Not everyone has an infinite level of artistic liberty when exercising said liberty encroaches upon the safety and sanity of society.

However, as for the fate of Comic Sans, we must commence today its extermination by having a zero tolerance policy for Comic Sans. Extreme, maybe, but we know from our mistakes that once a disease infects even a microbe of the population, there can be no stopping the virus.

Fight it. Fight it in your homes, in your schools, in your cities and in your nations. Begin the revolution, put an end to the oppression.

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